Whiskey man
Ret's ESL Jokes
A man came home after spending time with his mistress. As he walked through the front door, he noticed he smelled like her perfume.
Feeling a wave of panic, he quickly hatched a plan to divert suspicion.
He decided to visit the nearby bar, hoping whiskey would mask the scent of his illicit escapade.
After a few drinks, he staggered back home, praying his wife wouldn’t catch on.
However, his wife was no fool. She met him at the door, took a deep breathune grande inspiration / respira profondément, and said: “You dirty pig! You could pour a gallon of women’s perfume over yourself… and I’d still know you’ve been to the bar.”
Vocabulary
mistress: a woman someone has an affair with
staggered: walked unsteadily, as if drunk
catch on: realise or notice something
hatched a plan: made or devised a plan
+ He tried to hide the smell from his mistress.
+ After several drinks, he staggered home.
+ She didn’t catch on at first.
+ He hatched a plan to hide the truth.
Grammar Focus
The joke uses the past simple for narration and would to express a hypothetical outcome or expectation.
Past simple: He walked through the door.
Would: He thought whiskey would mask the scent.
Synonyms & Alternatives
mistress: lover, affair partner, companion (feminine)
staggered: stumbled, tottered, reeled
hatched a plan: plotted, devised, came up with
Mini Dialogue
Lucy (HR): We need to discuss how James hatched a plan to reduce costs.
Ben (Accounting): Yes, but when the auditors arrive, they’ll probably catch on.
Lucy: True. If it fails, he’ll just stagger into another excuse.
Ben: However, we’ll see what the director says.
🌱 If you enjoy this blog, consider buying me a coffee.