wages
Ret's ESL Jokes
Ben left work one Friday evening.
But since it was payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the whole weekend partying with his pals and spending his entire wages.
When he finally went home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours about his behaviour.
Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?”
Ben said, “That would be fine with me.”
Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to be able to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Vocabulary
Payday: the day when workers receive their wages or salary.
Swelling: a part of the body becoming enlarged after an injury.
Since it was payday, Ben went out celebrating.
By Thursday, the swelling had gone down a little.
Grammar Focus
The joke mainly uses narrative past tenses to tell a sequence of events and a conditional sentence for the wife’s question.
Past simple (narration): Ben left work on Friday and spent the weekend partying.
2nd conditional: “How’d you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?”
Synonyms & Alternatives
Pals: mates, friends.
Nagging: complaining, constant criticism.
Mini Dialogue
Oliver: Yesterday was payday, so I bought a new bicycle.
James: Lucky you. I spent my entire wages fixing my car.
Oliver: My wife asked what I would do if she disappeared for two days.
James: Careful… you might end up with some serious swelling too!