two hunters
Ret's ESL Jokes
Two hunters were out in the woods when one of them suddenly collapses.
He isn’t breathing, and his eyes are glassy and unfocused.
Panicking, the other hunter pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.
“My friend’s dead!” he shouts. “What should I do?”
The operator replies calmly, “Take a deep breath. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s actually dead.”
There’s a brief silence. Then a gunshot rings out.
The hunter comes back on the line and says, “Okay. Now what?”
Vocabulary
Collapse: to fall down suddenly (often from illness or shock).
Glassy: (of eyes) dull, lifeless, staring blankly.
The hunter collapses suddenly in the woods.
His eyes are glassy and unfocused.
Grammar Focus
The joke uses past simple for the main narrative sequence and to report sudden events, with present simple in dialogue for immediacy. Past continuous appears for background states.
Past simple: One of them collapsed. The other hunter pulled out his phone.
Present simple in dialogue: “My friend’s dead!” … “Take a deep breath.”
Synonyms & Alternatives
Collapses: falls down, drops, faints.
Glassy: glazed, vacant, lifeless.
Mini Dialogue
Walker: My mate collapsed on the mountain path!
Rescue operator: Stay calm. First make sure he’s actually unconscious.
Walker: Hold on… [sound of thud] Right, now what?
Rescue operator: Wait—what did you just do?!