The Priest & The tool
Ret's ESL Jokes
On an international flight, a young woman was having a long conversation with the priest sitting next to her.
They were about to land when the woman, looking slightly embarrassed, said, “Listen, Father, may I ask you for a favour? I bought a luxury massage tool that was quite expensive, and I really don’t want to pay customs fees. Could you hide it under your cassock when we pass through customs… please?”
The priest reluctantly agreed and hid the massage tool under his cassock. But he warned her, “I’ll do my best, but I cannot lie.”
At the airport, a customs officer approached the priest and asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”
The priest replied, “From my head to my waist, I have nothing to declare.”
The officer followed up, “Well, do you have anything to declare below your waist?”
The priest answered, “Below my waist, I only have a tool meant to please women, but up to today, it has still not been used.”
📘 Key Vocabulary
flight: VOYAGE EN AVION
priest: PRÊTRE
cassock: SOUTANE
customs fees: DROITS DE DOUANE
reluctantly: À CONTRECŒUR
followed up: A POSÉ UNE AUTRE QUESTION
📖 Grammar Points+
1. Past continuous for background actions
The joke opens with past continuous: “a young woman was having a long conversation”. This tense sets the scene and describes an action in progress when another event (the landing) was about to happen. Later, “They were about to land” uses a past continuous structure to indicate something imminent. For French speakers, this aligns with the imparfait (elle avait une conversation).
2. Past simple to narrate the sequence
The story uses past simple to move the action forward: agreed, hid, warned, approached, asked, replied, followed up, answered. Each verb shows a completed action in the past. Learners can see how English alternates between past continuous (background) and past simple (main events) to create a clear, engaging narrative.
3. Polite request with ‘Could you’
The woman asks “Could you hide it under your cassock?” — a polite way to make a request in English. This is a useful structure for B1+ learners in everyday situations (asking for favours, making suggestions).
🔁 Synonyms & Alternatives+
reluctantly · unwillingly / hesitantly
À CONTRECŒUR → also “avec réticence”
followed up · asked further / continued
A POSÉ UNE AUTRE QUESTION → also “a enchaîné”
tool · device / instrument / gadget
OBJET → also “appareil”
💬 Mini Dialogue+
Context: Two friends, Emma and James, are at the airport after a holiday. Emma bought an expensive souvenir and asks James to help her avoid customs fees.
Emma: “James, could you put this painting under your coat? I really don’t want to pay customs fees.”
James: Reluctantly, he agreed. “Fine, but I won’t lie if they ask me directly.”
Customs officer: “Sir, do you have anything to declare?”
James: “From my shoulders to my knees, I have nothing to declare.”
Officer: “And below your knees?”
James: “Just a painting meant to please my mother, but I’m not sure she’ll like it.”
This dialogue practises past continuous (was waiting), past simple (agreed, asked, replied), and vocabulary from the joke (reluctantly, lie, below, meant to please).
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