the praying girl
Ret's ESL Jokes
Dad is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bedtime.
She says, “God bless Mummy, and God bless Daddy, and God bless Grandma, and… goodbye Grandpa.”
He asks her, “Why did you say that?”
“I just felt like saying it,” she replies.
The next day, Grandpa drops dead. Wow, thinks Dad. That’s an odd coincidence.
A month later, at bedtime, the daughter says, “God bless Mummy and Daddy. And goodbye Grandma.”
Sure enough, the next day, Grandma breathes her last earthly breath.
Dad realises this is more than a coincidence, but he is unsure what to do. He doesn’t want to disturb his wife after all, who was grieving her parents.
Months go by, and one night, he listens as she begins racing and then turns to him, “And goodbye Daddy.”
“What!? Are you sure, honey?” he asks. She nods.
His heart starts breaking out in a sweat. He is so upset that he cannot sleep at all that night.
The next day, he locks himself in his office, takes the phone off the hook, cancels all meetings, and waits. He feels safe there, watching the hours tick by.
Finally, at midnight, drenched in sweat, he realises he has cheated death. Exhausted and frazzled, he drives home.
His wife is waiting. “Where the hell were you today?” she demands.
“Don’t shout,” he replies. “I’ve had an absolutely miserable day.”
She retorts, “You had a miserable day? First, the milkman drops dead on the steps…”
Vocabulary
Say her prayers: Récite ses prières
God bless Mummy: Que Dieu bénisse Maman
I just felt like saying it: J’ai eu juste envie de le dire
Drops dead: Mourut subitement
Odd coincidence: Étrange coïncidence
At bedtime: Au moment du coucher
Her last earthly breath: Son dernier souffle terrestre
Breaking out in a sweat: À sueur froide
Grammar Focus
Past simple: Dad asked her, “Why did you say that?”
Direct speech: “God bless Mummy,” she says.
Past simple: used for habits, routines, general truths, & facts in the present.
Direct speech: Exact words in inverted commas.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Upset: distressed, troubled, anxious
Frazzled: exhausted, worn out, drained
Locks himself in his office: barricades, secludes, isolates
Drenched in sweat: soaked, perspiring heavily, sweating bullets
Mini Dialogue
Dad: Why did you say that?
Daughter: I just felt like saying it.
Dad: What!? Are you sure, honey?
Daughter: Yes, I am.
Wife: Where the hell were you today?
Dad: Don’t shout, I’ve had an absolutely miserable day.
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