The Password
Ret's ESL Jokes
A man goes into an airport bar and asks the bartender for the Wi-Fi password.
The bartender replies, “You first need to buy a drink.”
“Okay,” the man says. “I’ll have a Coke.”
“Is Pepsi okay?” the bartender asks.
“Sure.”
“How much is that?“
“Two euros.”
The man pays.
“So, what’s the Wi-Fi password?” he asks.
The bartender answers, “It’s… ‘you-first-need-to-buy-a-drink’. Hyphens. No spaces. All lowercase.”
📘 Key Vocabulary+
bartender: BARMAN
password: MOT DE PASSE
you first need to: IL FAUT D’ABORD
how much is that: ÇA FAIT COMBIEN ?
lowercase: EN MINUSCULES
hyphenated: AVEC TRAITS D’UNION
📖 Grammar Points+
1. Present simple for narrative immediacy
The joke uses present simple throughout to create a sense of immediacy: “goes”, “asks”, “replies”, “says”, “asks”, “pays”, “answers”. This is very common in jokes and spoken storytelling — it makes the listener feel like the events are happening right now. Even though the story takes place in the past, the present tense makes it more dramatic and engaging. For French speakers, this is similar to using the present tense (entre, demande, répond) when telling a story orally.
2. Past simple for completed actions in the narrative
The joke also uses past simple for the actions that are clearly completed: “pays” (present) but the payment is a completed action, and the overall structure uses past simple for the narrative frame. The contrast between present simple (the action unfolding) and the implied past (the events happened before) creates the comedic timing. The bartender’s final response reveals that the password is exactly what he just said — making the man’s effort to buy a drink completely pointless.
🔁 Synonyms & Alternatives+
bartender · barman / server / mixologist/ BARMAN → also “serveur de bar”
lowercase · in mall letters : EN MINUSCULES → also “petites lettres”
💬 Mini Dialogue+
Context: Two friends, Thabo and Lerato, are at a coffee shop. Thabo is trying to connect to the Wi-Fi.
Thabo: “I asked the bartenderBARMAN for the Wi-Fi passwordMOT DE PASSE.”
Lerato: “What did he say?”
Thabo: “He said, ‘You first need to buy a drink.’ So I bought one.”
Lerato: “How much was that ?“
Thabo: “Five euros. Then he told me the password: ‘you-first-need-to-buy-a-drink’. All lowercase. I could have guessed that without buying anything!”
Uses past simple for the retold story (“asked”, “said”, “bought”, “told”), present simple for the quoted dialogue, and vocabulary items integrated naturally.
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