The boy and the barber
Ret's ESL Jokes
A young lad enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the lad over and asks, “Which do you want, lad?”
The lad takes the quarters and leaves.
“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young lad coming out of the ice cream parlour.
“Hey, sonny! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The lad licked his ice-cream cone and replied: “Because the day I take the dollar… the game is over!”
Vocabulary
barber shop: a shop where men get their hair cut
dumbest: most stupid or foolish
quarters: coins worth 25 cents each (US)
+ The barber shop on the high street is always busy on Saturdays.
+ Everyone agreed he was the dumbest pupil in the class.
+ She paid with two quarters for the parking meter.
Grammar Focus
The joke mixes direct speech and narrative past tense
Direct speech: “What did I tell you?” said the barber.
Past tense narration: The barber puts a dollar bill… → The barber put a dollar bill…
Synonyms & Alternatives
barber shop: hairdresser’s, hair salon
dumbest: silliest, most foolish
quarters: a quarter of a dollar, 25-cent coins
Mini Dialogue
Oliver (customer): Why does Timmy always choose the coins?
Harry (barber): Because he’s thick as two planks!
Oliver: Actually, he’s cleverer than both of us.
Harry: How do you reckon that?
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