Takes The Cake
Ret's ESL Jokes
A man hears from a doctor that his end is near so he heads over to his lawyer’s office to draft a will.
The secretary watches as the man walks into the lawyer’s office, and sees him four minutes later walk away in a huff.
“Can I help you, sir?” asks the secretary, dashing after the obviously annoyed man.
“Help me?” the man says. “Help me? This guy’s completely mad! I asked him to help me write a will and he says to me: ‘Sure, I just have a few questions and then you can leave it all to me.’”
“They say lawyers are dishonest but this guy here takes the cake.”
📘 Key Vocabulary+
his end is near: IL VA BIENTÔT MOURIR
heads over: SE DIRIGE
draft: RÉDIGER | ÉTABLIR
will: TESTAMENT
in a huff: VEXÉ | FÂCHÉ
takes the cake: C’EST LE POMPOM | REMPORTE LA PALME
📖 Grammar Points+
1. Present simple for narrative immediacy
The joke uses present simple throughout to create a sense of immediacy: “hears”, “heads over”, “watches”, “sees”, “asks”, “says”. This is very common in jokes and spoken storytelling — it makes the listener feel like the events are happening right now. Even though the story takes place in the past, the present tense makes it more dramatic and engaging. For French speakers, this is similar to using the present tense (entend, se dirige, regarde, voit, demande, dit) when telling a story orally.
2. Past simple for the quoted question and past event
The joke uses past simple in the man’s quoted complaint: “I asked him to help me write a will” and “he says to me” (present for the quote) — actually the quote is reported in present, but the action of asking happened in the past. The contrast between the present simple narrative and the past simple reference creates the ironic punchline — the man misunderstands the lawyer’s phrase “leave it all to me” (meaning “let me handle everything”) as “leave all your possessions to me” (meaning “give me everything in your will”). This is a classic example of how tense and word choice affect meaning.
🔁 Synonyms & Alternatives+
draft · write / compose / prepare: RÉDIGER → also “préparer”
mad · crazy / insane / foolish: FOU → also “dingue”
💬 Mini Dialogue+
Context: Two friends, Thabo and Lerato, are discussing a strange experience Thabo had with an accountant who was helping him with his taxes.
Thabo: “I headed over to my accountant to draft my tax return.”
Lerato: “What happened?”
Thabo: “He said, ‘You can leave it all to me,’ and I walked out in a huff.”
Lerato: “Why? That sounds helpful!”
Thabo: “Helpful? He takes the cake! He meant he wanted to keep all my tax refund for himself!”
Uses past simple for narrative actions (”headed over”, “said”, “walked out”), present simple for the quoted statement, and vocabulary items integrated naturally.
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B1 esl dishonest lawyer dying man ESL jokes French tooltips lawyer joke learn english with humour past simple practice present simple ret's esl Jokes takes the biscuit takes the cake will joke