Swimming
Ret's ESL Jokes
One day a billionaire was bored, so he asked his butler to get him three men.
A few hours later, the butler returned with three men, and they all went to the side of the river.
The rich man said, “OK, I’ve got a deal you cannot refuse. The one who can swim across the river, which is full of crocodiles and piranhas, will win a Jaguar and ten weekends anywhere in the world — everything paid — or a nice flat in London, or half a million euros. The winner chooses.”
No one replied, so the rich man gave up and started to leave.
All of a sudden, the man heard a big splash. One of the men was swimming very fast, avoiding all the crocodiles and piranhas.
The billionaire was very impressed. After the swimmer crossed back to the other side, the rich man congratulated him and asked him what he wanted.
The swimmer replied, “I want the son of a bitch who pushed me in!”
📘 Key Vocabulary
billionaire: MILLIARDAIRE
was bored: S’ENNUYAIT
avoid: ÉVITER
butler: MAJORDOME
a deal: UN MARCHÉ | UNE AFFAIRE
gave up: RENONÇA | ABANDONNA
son of a bitch: FILS DE PUTE
📖 Grammar Points+
1. Past simple for completed narrative actions
The joke uses past simple throughout to tell the sequence of events: was bored, asked, returned, went, said, replied, gave up, heard, was swimming, crossed, congratulated, asked, replied. This tense moves the story forward clearly and chronologically. Learners can see how English speakers use past simple to list what happened one after another — from the billionaire’s boredom to the swimmer’s unexpected demand.
2. Past continuous for background action
The joke uses past continuous to describe what was happening at a specific moment: “One of the men was swimming very fast” and “avoiding all the crocodiles”. Past continuous (was/were + -ing) sets the scene and describes actions in progress at a particular time in the past. For French speakers, this is similar to the imparfait (nageait, évitait). It contrasts with past simple, which describes completed actions.
🔁 Synonyms & Alternatives+
bored · uninterested / weary / restless
S’ENNUYER → also “lassé”
gave up · quit / surrendered / conceded
RENONÇA → also “abandonna”
Both fit the narrative tone: “he was restless” or “he quit and started to leave”.
💬 Mini Dialogue+
Context: Two friends, Thabo and Lerato, are discussing a crazy challenge Thabo’s uncle once made at a family gathering.
Thabo: “My uncle was a billionaire who was bored one afternoon, so he made a deal with us.”
Lerato: “What was the deal?”
Thabo: “He said the one who could finish a whole pizza would win a car.”
Lerato: “Who won?”
Thabo: “My cousin finished it in five minutes. But then he said, ‘I want the son of a bitchF who told me the pizza was small!’ He was very full.”
Uses past simple for narrative actions (“was”, “made”, “said”, “finished”), past continuous implied, and vocabulary items integrated naturally.
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