The local pub was so confident that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing €1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass and then hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze out one more drop of juice would win the money.
Many had tried over time—weight-lifters, longshoremen, and others—but none succeeded. One day, a scrawny little man in a polyester suit and thick glasses entered the pub. In a squeaky voice, he said, “I’d like to try the bet.”
After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, “Alright,” grabbed a lemon, and squeezed until no more juice remained. He handed the wrinkled rind to the little man.
The crowd’s laughter turned to silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon, and six drops of juice fell into the glass. The crowd cheered, and the bartender paid the €1000. Curious, he asked, “What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?”
The man replied, “I’m an HMRC inspector.”
Vocabulary
Bartender = Person who prepares drinks in a pub (bar-person)
A standing €1000 bet = A €1000 challenge that anyone can try to win
Squeeze a lemon = Press a lemon to get the juice out
Scrawny = Very thin and skinny
Patron = (Regular) customer of a pub or business
HMRC inspector = Tax inspector ↔️ tax specialist
The bartender poured a pint quickly.
The pub had a standing bet that patrons could try to win.
The scrawny lad surprised everyone with his strength.
He tried to squeeze a lemon into his glass.
The carpark here is for patrons only!
The HMRC inspector reviewed the firm’s tax records for irregularities.
Grammar Focus
This joke uses past simple tense to describe completed past actions or states.
The bartender squeezed the lemon.
Nobody won the standing bet.
We saw them in Belgium last week.
As well as direct speech to report someone’s exact words within inverted commas.
He said, “I’d like to try the bet.”
Mary said, “I’d like a mango colada please.”
“What did you say?” She asked.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Scrawny: skinny, lanky, bony
Bartender: barman, server, publican
Laughter: chuckling, giggling, mirth
Patron: a customer, a regular
Mini Dialogue
Emma: Have you finished auditing the accounts for that client?
James: I have. It was tough, like trying to squeeze a lemon!
Emma: Well, our HMRC inspector will be pleased.