A man and his ostrich
Ret's ESL Jokes
A man walked into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sat down, the waitress came over and asked for their orders. The man said, “I’ll have a hamburger, fries and a coke.” Then he turned to the ostrich and asked, “What’s yours?” “I’ll have the same,” said the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returned with the order saying, “That will be $6.40 please.” So the man reached into his pocket and pulled out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man and the ostrich came again and repeated the same routine. Late one evening, the two entered again.
“The usual?” asked the waitress. “No, it is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad,” said the man. “Same for me,” said the ostrich. A short time later the waitress came with the bill: “That will be $12.62.” Once again the man produced the exact change.
The waitress couldn’t hold back her curiosity and asked, “How do you manage to always have exact change?” The man sighed and explained, “Several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and granted me two wishes. My first wish was that whenever I had to pay for anything, I could put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”
“That’s brilliant!” said the waitress. “Most people would wish for a million pounds, but you’ll always be as rich as you want.” “That’s right,” he said. “Whether it’s a pint or a Rolls-Royce, the correct money is always there.” She then asked, “And what’s with the ostrich?” He answered, “My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say.”
Vocabulary
attic: loft or storage space
wishes: desires granted by a genie
fries: British “chips”
waitress: female restaurant server
+ He found the lamp in the attic.
+ She brought the fries with the burger.
Grammar Focus
This joke uses the past simple tense and reported speech.
Past simple: He found a lamp and rubbed it.
Reported speech: She asked how he managed to do it.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Waitress: server, attendant
Fries: chips, crisps (UK, informal: chips we munch with cocktails)
Attic: loft, garret
Mini Dialogue
Clare: Did the client settle the invoice?
Sam: Yes — they transferred the exact amount this morning.
Clare: Perfect. Shall I post the receipt?
Sam: Please — and same for me on the payroll review next week.
🌱 If you enjoy this blog, consider buying me a coffee.