Pig!
Ret's ESL Jokes
A man is driving up a steep and narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of her car window and yells “PIG!“
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, “BITCH!“
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig right there in the middle of the road, and dies.
📘 Key Vocabulary+
steep: RAIDE
narrow: ÉTROITE
to lean out: SE PENCHER À L’EXTÉRIEUR
to round: PRENDRE | TOURNER
to crash into: PERCUTER
📖 Grammar Points+
1. Present simple for narrative immediacy
The joke uses present simple throughout to create a sense of immediacy: “is driving”, “leans out”, “yells”, “replies”, “rounds”, “crashes”. This is very common in jokes and spoken storytelling — it makes the listener feel like the events are happening right now. Even though the story takes place in the past, the present tense makes it more dramatic and engaging. For French speakers, this is similar to using the present tense (se penche, crie, répond) when telling a story orally.
2. Past simple for the final outcome
The joke concludes with past simple: “and dies” (which is actually present simple for narrative, but the implied outcome is past). The contrast between the present simple narrative and the final consequence creates the dark irony. The man’s angry reply was completely unnecessary — the woman was warning him about the pig! This is a perfect example of how tense choice affects the impact of a joke.
🔁 Synonyms & Alternatives+
steep · sheer / abrupt / sharp: RAIDE → also “escarpé”
narrow · tight / restricted / cramped: ÉTROITE → also “étroit”
💬 Mini Dialogue+
Context: Two friends, Thabo and Palesa, are driving on a narrow road. A car approaches from the opposite direction.
Thabo: “Watch out! That driver is coming very fast on this steep hill.”
Palesa: “I know. Remember that joke about the man who rounded a corner and crashed into a pig?”
Thabo: “The woman leaned out and shouted ‘PIG!’ and he replied with an insult instead of stopping?”
Palesa: “Exactly. The irony was that she was warning him! He should have listened instead of being angry.”
Uses past simple for the retold joke (”rounded”, “crashed”, “leaned”), present simple for the setup (”is coming”, “know”), and vocabulary items integrated naturally.
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