making out in a van
Ret's ESL Jokes
Oliver and Chloe were making passionate love in Oliver’s van when suddenly Chloe, who was a bit on the kinky side and had just read “Fifty Shades of Grey”, yelled out: “Oh, big boy, whip me! Whip me!”
Oliver, not wanting to miss this unique opportunity, obviously didn’t have any whips to hand. But in a flash of inspiration, he opened the window, snapped the antenna off his van, and proceeded to whip Chloe until they both collapsed in sado-masochistic ecstasy.
About a week later, Chloe noticed that the marks left by the whipping session were not healing and were starting to fester a bit, so she went to the doctor.
The doctor took one look at the wounds and asked, “Did you get these marks having sex?”
Chloe, a little too embarrassed to admit she had even had sex with Oliver, let alone allowed him to indulge her kinky desires, eventually admitted, “Yes, I did.”
Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaimed:
“I thought so, because in all my years as a doctor, you’ve got the worst case of van aerial disease that I’ve ever seen.”
Vocabulary
Kinky: involving unusual or unconventional sexual behaviour.
Fester: (of a wound) become septic or infected.
Knowingly: in a way that suggests one has secret knowledge.She was feeling rather kinky that night.
The cut began to fester after a few days.µ
He smiled knowingly at her secret.
Grammar Focus
Past continuous describes an ongoing action in the past, often interrupted by another action. Reported speech (indirect speech) conveys what someone said without quoting exact words.
Past continuous: They were making passionate love when she yelled.
Reported speech: She eventually admitted that she’d got the marks having sex.
Past perfect: Chloe noticed that the marks had not been healing.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Kinky: perverted, unconventional
Fester: suppurate, become infected
Knowingly: wittingly, meaningfully
Mini Dialogue
Patient: Doctor, these marks on my back are starting to fester.
Doctor: Did you get them during sex?
Patient: Well… yes, I did. My boyfriend was a bit kinky.
Doctor: Ah, classic case of van aerial disease!
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