macho man and young bride
Ret's ESL Jokes
A typical macho man married a good-looking young lady. A few days after the wedding, he laid down some rules.
“I’ll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want, and I don’t expect any hassle from you. I expect a great, warm dinner to be on the table, unless I tell you I won’t be home for dinner. I’ll go hunting, boozing, and card-playing with my old buddies whenever I want, and don’t give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?”
His new bride said, “No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o’clock every night… whether you’re here or not.”
Vocabulary
good-looking: attractive, beautiful, pretty
hassle: trouble, inconvenience, bother
warm dinner: hot meal, hearty meal, home-cooked meal
buddies: friends, mates+ She was a good-looking woman.
+ Don’t give me any hassle about it.
+ He prepared a warm dinner.
+ He went out with his buddies.
Grammar Focus
Direct speech: Direct speech reports the exact words someone said, using inverted commas and keeping the original tense and pronouns.
Future tense: The future tense describes actions expected to happen later, often formed with will plus a base verb.Direct speech: He said, “I’ll be home when I want.”
Future tense: There will be sex at seven o’clock every night.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Hassle: bother, trouble, nuisance
Buddies: mates, pals, friends
Bride: wife, newlywed, new female spouse
Mini Dialogue
Emma: Have you sorted the hassle with the payroll?
James: Yes, I spoke to my buddies in accounting.
Emma: Great, no delays then?
James: None, it’ll be done whether you’re here or not.
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