forgive your enemies
Ret's ESL Jokes
The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used “Forgive Your Enemies” as his subject.
After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half raised their hands.
Not satisfied, he harangued the congregation for another twenty minutes and repeated the question. This time, nearly eighty per cent responded.
Still unsatisfied, he lectured for another fifteen minutes. Everyone responded — except one elderly lady sitting in the rear.
“Mrs Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?” asked the preacher.
“I don’t have any,” she replied.
Curious, the preacher invited her forward. The little lady tottered down the aisle, turned to face the congregation, and said:
“It’s easy — I just outlived the bastards.”
Vocabulary
harangue: speak forcefully or at length
totter: walk unsteadily
outlive: live longer than someone else
Grammar Focus
Past simple: He lectured for another fifteen minutes.
Reported question: He asked how many were willing to forgive.
Synonyms & Alternatives
elderly: aged, senior
bastards: scoundrels, rogues, ‘‘salopards’
Mini Dialogue
Preacher: Are you not willing to forgive?
Mrs Jones: I don’t have any enemies.
Preacher: How is that possible?
Mrs Jones: I outlived them all.
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