eating peanuts
Ret's ESL Jokes
An old man is hospitalised for a routine check-up. His dentures have been removed.
A nurse stops by to check on him and sees a bowl of peanuts on the patient’s bedside table. He asks the old gentleman if he could have some.
Because he has no teeth, the old man replies with some difficulty: “Go ahead, young man, help yourself.”
So the nurse takes a small handful and throws it into his mouth.
The next day, the same nurse asks the old man if he can have some more peanuts. The old man says, “Of course, young man, take as many as you like.”
And the same thing happens for a few more days. On the last day there are only a few peanuts at the bottom of the bowl. The nurse hesitates, but says to the old man, “Do you think I can have the rest of them?”
The old man replies, still with difficulty and without dentures, “Go ahead, take what’s left. Anyway I will be discharged tomorrow.”
The nurse takes the last handful of peanuts and, with his mouth still full, says to the old man, “Those were very good. Thanks very much.”
And the old man answers, “I enjoyed them too, young one, but they are really much better when covered with chocolate.”
Vocabulary
Dentures: artificial teeth that can be removed.
Handful: the amount that fits in one hand.
His dentures had been removed.
The nurse took a handful of peanuts.
Grammar Focus
The joke mainly uses present simple for narration and future forms for hospital procedure.
Present simple (narrative present): A nurse stops by and sees a bowl of peanuts.
Future passive: I will be discharged tomorrow.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Dentures: false teeth, dental plate.
Help yourself: please take some, go ahead.
Mini Dialogue
Arthur: I left my dentures at home before the dinner.
Beatrice: Then how did you manage the steak?
Arthur: I only took a small handful of mashed potatoes.
Beatrice: Next time, I’ll cook something softer!