three old men are talking
Ret's ESL Jokes
Three old men are discussing their failing memories.
The first old man says, “Today I was at the top of the stairs, and I couldn’t remember if I had just gone up or was about to go down.”
The second old man says, “I was sitting at the edge of my bed and I couldn’t remember if I was about to sleep or had just woken up.”
The third man scoffs and says, “My memory is as good as ever, knock on wood.” With this he hits the table twice with his knuckle, looks up in surprise and yells “Who’s there?”
Vocabulary
Scoff: to mock or express scorn.
Knock on wood: a superstitious phrase said while touching wood to ward off bad luck.
The third man scoffs at the others.
He says “knock on wood” and knocks on the table.
Grammar Focus
The joke mainly uses past simple to narrate events and reported speech, with a mix of past perfect and past continuous for confusion of sequence or state.
Past simple: Three old men discussed their failing memories.
Past perfect: I couldn’t remember if I had just gone up or was about to go down.
Reported speech / indirect question: He couldn’t remember if he was about to sleep or had just woken up.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Scoff: sneer, jeer, laugh derisively.
Failing memories: poor memory, memory loss.
As good as ever: perfect still, unimpaired, sharp as always.
Knock on wood: touch wood, fingers crossed (similar protective phrase).
Mini Dialogue
First man: I stood at the top of the stairs and forgot whether I had just gone up or was going down!
Second man: I sat on my bed and couldn’t remember if I was about to sleep or had just woken up.
Third man: My memory is as good as ever, knock on wood!
Same man (surprised): Who’s there?
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