confessing
Ret's ESL Jokes
A Catholic man enters the confessional and begins, “Forgive me, I have sinned.”
“Go on, my son,” replies the priest.
“I swore the other day—in the most profane way possible,” the man confesses.
“Continue,” says the priest.
“I was playing golf and hit my drive. It looked perfect—dead straight down the fairway. But about 200 yards out, my ball struck a power line crossing overhead.”
“And that’s when you swore?” asks the priest.
“No, Father, not yet. The ball ricocheted off the wires and sailed into the deep rough.”
“Aha, that must have been the moment, yes?” says the priest.
“Not even then. As I walked toward the rough to play my second shot, a hawk swooped down, snatched my ball in its beak, and flew off with it.”
“I see,” says the priest. “This surely was when you swore.”
“You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But no. As the bird passed over the green, the ball dropped from its mouth and landed just two feet from the hole.”
A brief silence follows. Then the priest leans forward and says, “You missed the f*ckin’ putt, didn’t you?”
Vocabulary
Confessional: a small booth where Catholics confess their sins to a priest.
Drive: the first, usually long, shot from the tee in golf.
He entered the confessional quietly.
She hit her drive straight down the course.
Grammar Focus
The joke mainly uses past simple for narrative progression, with past continuous to set background actions.
Past simple: The ball struck a power line and landed near the hole.
Past continuous: I was playing golf when the accident happened.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Swore: cursed, used foul language.
Deep rough: thick grass, heavy rough.
Mini Dialogue
Oliver: I was cooking when I dropped the pan on the floor.
Hugo: And that’s when you swore, I suppose?
Oliver: Not at all — the cat had already run away.
Hugo: You missed your dinner, didn’t you?