asking for a raise
Ret's ESL Jokes
Excuse me, sir. May I speak with you for a moment?
Of course! Come on in. What can I do for you?
Well, sir, as you know, I’ve been part of this prestigious firm for over ten years.
Yes, I’m aware of that.
I won’t beat around the bush—I’d like a rise. Currently, four companies are after me, so I decided to speak to you first.
A rise? I’d love to give you one, but this really isn’t the right moment. We’re facing a downturn.
I understand your position, and I know the economic downturn has affected sales. However, I believe my hard work, proactiveness, and loyalty deserve consideration.
Taking all that into account—and because I don’t want to risk a brain drain—I’m willing to offer you a ten percent rise and five extra days of leave. How does that sound?
Fantastic! That’s a deal. Thank you, sir!
Before you go, just out of curiosity, which companies were after you?
Oh, the Electric Company, the Gas Company, the Water Company, and the Mortgage Company!
Vocabulary
May I — a formal way to ask permission.
Proactiveness — taking initiative, anticipating future problems.
Brain drain — loss of talented staff, often to other employers.
A rise — an increase in salary (USA: raise).
Leave — authorised time away from work (e.g., sick leave, compassionate leave).
Grammar Focus
Modal verbs: “May I…?”, “I’d like…”, “I’m willing…” — all polite and hypothetical.
Present perfect: “I’ve been part…” shows duration up to now.
Reported offers and reasons: “Taking that into account…”, “Considering…”
Synonyms & Alternatives
May I: Could I, Might I
A raise: A pay rise (UK), Salary increase
Proactiveness: Initiative, Forward thinking
Deserve: Merit, Be worthy of
Brain drain: Talent exodus, Staff turnover
Mini Dialogue
Professor: I’ve noticed fewer students are enrolling this year.
Administrator: Yes, there’s a real brain drain. Many have gone abroad.
Professor: We must be more proactive—maybe update our course offerings?
Administrator: Good idea. I’m willing to raise the research budget, too.
Professor: Excellent. Let’s not wait for another downturn to hit us.
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