aeroplane message
Ret's ESL Jokes
An aeroplane got a message on the PA system: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 869, from New York to San Francisco.
The weather ahead is good, and we should have a smooth and uneventful flight.
Now sit back and relax… Oh sh*t!”
Silence followed, and after a few minutes the captain came back on the PA system and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, I am sorry if I scared you earlier; but while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my trousers!”
A passenger in Economy said, “That’s nothing. He should see the back of mine!”
Vocabulary
Spill: to cause or allow (liquid) to flow over the edge of a container accidentally.
Lap: the front part of the body from the waist to the knees when sitting.
The flight attendant spilled hot coffee in the captain’s lap.
You should see the front of my trousers after the spill!
Grammar Focus
The joke uses present simple for announcements, past simple for narration, and modal “should” for suggestions/advice. Indirect speech and conditional-like structures appear in reported apologies and passenger remarks.
Past simple: The flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled it.
Modal should (advice): You should see the front of my trousers!
Reported speech: He said he was sorry if he scared us earlier.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Spill: pour out, splash, tip over.
Lap: upper thighs (when seated).
Uneventful: calm, without incident, routine.
Flight attendant: cabin crew, stewardess (older term), air hostess.
Mini Dialogue
Sarah: I was carrying the soup and spilled some on my new dress!
Tom: Oh no! You should see the stain on the front!
Sarah: That’s nothing. You should see the back of mine after I sat down!
Tom: Ouch, that must have been hot!