5 shortish jokes
Ret's ESL Jokes
[1] A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their laptop. The husband types “My-PeNiS”, at which point his wife bursts out laughing and falls off the chair, as the screen displays: “It is not long enough.”
[2] Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks: “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
[3] A child asked his father: “How were people born?” The father replied: “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies grew up and made more babies, and so on.” The child then asked his mother the same question, and she said: “We were monkeys, then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and exclaimed: “You lied to me!” The father responded: “No, your mum was talking about her side of the family.”
[4] A teacher asked her students to use the word “beans” in a sentence. One girl said: “My father grows beans.” A boy added: “My mother cooks beans.” A third student chimed in: “We are all human beans.”
[5] Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
[6] A lawyer and a doctor were chatting at a party. The doctor said: “At parties, people always ask me for medical advice.” The lawyer replied: “Send them a bill the next day.” The doctor thought it was a brilliant idea—until the next morning, when he received a bill from the lawyer.
Vocabulary
set up: To configure or arrange something so it works.
password: A secret word or phrase used to gain access.
burst out laughing: To suddenly start laughing.
display: To show information on a screen.They tried to set up a new password.
The screen displayed an error message.
His wife burst out laughing.
Grammar Focus
Present continuous: “are trying” — describes an action in progress.
Past simple: “typed”, “laughed”, “fell” — completed actions.
It + adjective + enough: “It’s not long enough” — structure for limits or sufficiency.
Synonyms & Alternatives
set up: configure, arrange
burst out laughing: crack up, start laughing suddenly
display: show, present
not long enough: too short, insufficient length
Mini Dialogue
Husband: Why won’t it accept my password?
Wife: Read the message on the screen.
Husband: “It is not long enough.”
Wife: Yeah. And to think I could have told them!
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